Hi everyone. My name is Fee, I’m an Editorial Content Specialist here at Photobox, and I’m here to share some of my top dos and don’ts that I learned during my own wedding planning, in case that’s on the horizon for you.

My husband Moritz and I got married in Tuscany in 2022 and although it was the most incredible day of our lives, there’s no denying that we were pretty stressed in the build-up. Weddings should be full of excitement, so why are so many couples taking on too much stress when it comes to planning their big day? I’m by no means a wedding expert, but I think I picked up a few useful pieces of info from my time as a bride that I’d love to share with you.

The most important thing to remember is that your wedding day should be a day for you. It’s a day to celebrate what makes you special as a couple, and so whether you’re planning a quick getaway or a weekend filled with multiple celebrations, here are some of my tips to avoid excess stress.

My top 5 dos of wedding planning

Do: Take a moment for yourselves

Everyone says it, but your wedding day really does go by in a flash, and often you don’t get to spend a lot of time together as a couple. After our wedding dinner, we went on an impromptu walk together around the grounds of our venue. We were able to recap on small moments together and soak up some of the buzz from the day. Our photographer spotted us on our walk and snapped a few photographs – they’re definitely the most candid photos of the day, and my favourite shots.

Do: Provide activities for the kids (if they’re invited…)

Whether you choose to invite children is entirely up to you. For us, we decided to have some of our close family’s kids at our wedding.

To keep them occupied, I organised a “scavenger hunt” using disposable cameras. All the children had a checklist of photos to snap throughout the day, such as my bouquet or people laughing. They all really got into it and it kept them occupied whilst their parents could unwind and have fun.

A bonus for us: some of the photographs actually turned out to be quite lovely.

Do: Consider a wedding planner

Because we got married abroad, it felt impossible to plan a wedding without help of someone who spoke the language. Our lovely wedding planner Simona had connections to existing suppliers, and could negotiate prices that we wouldn’t be able to get directly. With wedding planners’ established relationships, I truly believe that you’ll save yourself time and money in the long run.

There were so many parts of our wedding day that wouldn’t have been possible without Simona. She took care of mini emergencies, tricky situations, and problem solving without the need to even involve myself or my husband. By the end of the night, we were dancing away with her like she was part of the family.

Do: Set a realistic budget

Setting a budget seems obvious when planning a wedding, but don’t just grab the figures out of thin air. Do your research, ask friends who may have previously had a wedding for an idea of costs, and gather quotes from multiple suppliers. A wedding spreadsheet will likely become your best friend – it definitely was for me.

Do: Rely on your wedding party

Bridesmaids and groomsmen aren’t just there to look good (although, I’m sure they all scrub up pretty well). My bridesmaids helped me with so many small tasks in the build-up to my wedding – preparing favours, helping with guests, and generally keeping me calm on the day. If your to-do list is mounting up, ask your wedding party to help, and lean on them when you need to.

My top 5 don’ts of wedding planning

Don’t: Stick to traditions, if you don’t want to

Don’t want to have bridesmaids, or a first dance? Then don’t. We didn’t want a wedding cake because we thought it would to go to waste after such a big meal, so instead we opted for an ice cream cart. You’re not breaking tradition by changing or removing these things – you’re creating your own traditions.

Don’t: Over-invite people

The dreaded guestlist can be the stuff of nightmares. It’s not always possible to have everyone you want there. Someone gave me a useful piece of advice when I was trying to estimate my guestlist. Would you invite this person to your birthday party? If the answer is no, then maybe you should question why they’d come to your wedding. Be polite, but direct with people – I’m sure they’ll be understanding.

Don’t: Forget to wear your wedding shoes before the big day

This one goes to both brides and grooms. Make sure you try your wedding shoes on, and maybe even wear them around the house before your wedding day arrives. There’s nothing cute about a blister ruining all your fun. I even wore mine with extra thick socks to make them stretch a little, knowing it would be hot in Italy. Side note: make sure friends have plasters on hand for you.

Don’t: Forget to pace yourself when walking down the aisle

I was definitely anxious about walking up the aisle and having a sea of faces watching me. In hindsight, I think I walked much quicker than I would have wanted to.

My top tips are:

• Look to your partner at the top of the aisle if it helps you to focus.
• Take in your guests and their reactions as you pass by – you won’t get to see the looks on their faces in this moment again.
• And most importantly, change things up if it’s too much pressure for you. Walk up the aisle with your partner, or a friend or family member, if that will help to settle your nerves.

Don’t: Over-pose for pictures

We didn’t have any posed pictures at our wedding, as I knew from the outset that I wouldn’t print them around my home. My advice would be to have a think about what kind of photos you’re likely to print in the months and years that follow your wedding, and go from there.

Speak to your photographer about who you are as people – that will allow them to get an idea of your personalities. Before the wedding, you can give your photographer a list of shots you definitely want to achieve, but other than that, I’d let the candids flow.

There’s no escaping the fact that planning a wedding can be pretty stressful, but I hope that by sharing some of my tips with you, you can get the buzz out of wedding planning that you ought to have.

And don’t forget to save some wedding planning energy into creating a lasting photo book with all of your stunning photos.

Wedding planner: Simona Cappitelli, W Tuscany & Events
Photography credits: Alessandro Colle, Colle Photo